Dare I do it?
I barely know this person, but I think I should go for it. A moment ago, we were just chatting, exchanging pleasantries. Am I really ready to cross the boundary to a more intimate relationship, even if it’s for only a brief moment?
Yes, I think so… and here’s my chance…
OK… Here I go…
“Excuse me,” I say, “but you have a just little something stuck to your teeth…”
Situation: Awkward
Many of us have run into this situation: we’re talking with someone we don’t know very well at a public gathering, and he or she has some sort of stray herb stuck to their incisor. That, or his fly is open, her skirt is stuck in their underwear, or there’s toilet paper stuck to his shoe.
In any of those cases, the person is blissfully unaware of the problem, and we can do something to help him or her. If it’s a dear loved one or close friend, we’ll tell mention it immediately or, if possible, even make a deft move to quickly fix the situation ourselves. But, with this person we barely know, mentioning the embarrassing situation forces us to move beyond niceties and more closely into his or her personal space. Sometimes people can’t make that move, allowing the person to go about the room, hoping someone else will tell them or that they’ll soon look in a mirror.
Retrograde Resentment
Many of us have also been that person needing help. And when, after being ignorant to your predicament, you discover the problem it yourself, your mind quickly looks backwards… When did that happen? Who did I see? Who saw me? And, depending on how bad it was, you may say to yourself why didn’t they tell me? Along with that last question is a twinge of disappointment or distrust, a flash of an evil eye cast back at those who said nothing.
What’s In Your Client’s Teeth?
With a client (or, on the in-house side another department or staff member), you may end up in a similar situation. There is something obviously wrong with their design/process/application. They would appreciate knowing about it, and you want to tell them. If you have a good, ongoing relationship with them, it’s likely easy to say something up front. If not, it may be harder to mention. Will they really appreciate what I point out or resent it?
In these cases, where the issue is obvious to all as a problem and easily remedied, you should say something. When the problem isn’t so clear to everyone, or not so easy to fix, the situation must be approached differently.
However, when someone has his fly open, it’s better to pull him aside and mention it to him quietly rather than pointing it out in front of a group. So you may still need to wait for the right moment. And the better you know them, the more leeway you may have.
But don’t wait too long. For if your client finds the problem themselves, they may also ask themselves why didn’t they tell me? How could they let me be embarrassed like that? And if it’s a big enough problem, they may ask themselves is there someone else I can trust to tell me next time?